


Wild and Precious Things

by jjtaylor



Category: Bandom, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Adulthood, Communication, M/M, Polyamory, yes that's a Mary Oliver allusion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-09
Updated: 2019-11-09
Packaged: 2021-01-26 06:06:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21369382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jjtaylor/pseuds/jjtaylor
Summary: For the prompt 5: Frank/Gerard getting together now as grown adults, having never gotten together before
Relationships: Frank Iero/Gerard Way
Comments: 9
Kudos: 89
Collections: No Tags Fall 2019





	Wild and Precious Things

Frank leans back in the patio chair and exhales his cigarette smoke up at the stars. There's more light pollution in LA than in Jersey, which shouldn't be true, but Gerard's place is in the city and Frank has to own up to the fact that he lives in the suburbs where just a few streetlights glow in his windows once the sun goes down.

There was no suburban quiet when Frank called home tonight. He had to endure each of his kids giving him shit about being away, like it's their new nightly tradition, a kind of bedtime story except with a cacophony of voices and a shaky video that makes him feel woozy as they grab the phone out of each other's hands. 

Gerard sits down in the chair next to him, tips his head back to look where Frank's looking. His neck is pale in the dark and Frank can see the spot on his jaw where his quick shave has left a patch of stubble. 

In the dark, Frank feels time stretch out and slow down. His cigarette, which should have burned down to the stub, is still glowing red, half-smoked. 

“You look like you're waiting for a kiss goodnight from the fucking stars,” Gerard says. 

Frank laughs, lets it spread into a giggle. This is everything he wants from visiting Gerard, for Gerard to say ridiculous things while Frank's fingers twitch on his knee, remembering chords of Cemetery Drive like old friends. 

“You ever think we missed out on something, during Projekt Rev?” 

“You mean dying? Because missed out on that, though we came pretty close.” 

Frank's thinking about his blood singing, about angry kisses on stage and quiet kisses on the bus. An invitation waiting, one that Frank had been certain wasn't something he could ever accept. 

“I mean,” Frank briefly considers backpedaling, and then says, “If we'd wanted to get together.” 

Gerard is quiet, rubbing his fingers thoughtfully over his lips. Frank wonders with a thrill if he's remembering kisses, too. 

He's expecting Gerard to make a declaration about letting go of may-have-beens. Instead, Gerard says thoughtfully, “It would have been different, then.” 

“Can I just - “ Frank says, skittish and restless. He straightens up, and then leans in and kisses Gerard. Gerard’s hand slips to the back of Frank’s neck, holding him close, anchoring him. Gerard lets Frank deepen the kiss, going only as far as Frank does. 

Frank pulls back, takes a deep breath. He's dizzy and warm, turned upside down. 

“You ok, Frankie?” Gerard asks. 

“Yeah,” Frank says and tries to make it sound light. 

“That felt different,” Gerard says. 

Frank's shoulders melt with relief. “Yeah,” Frank agrees . “It did.” 

“You got something on your mind,” Gerard says, openly curious. “Tell me about it.” 

It's been swimming in Frank's head for a month now, consistent, a question as sharp as the morning frost that vanishes in the full sun. When he lies there in bed, when the kids are catapulting cereal with their spoons, in the shower before he steps out and grabs his towel, hitting his elbow on the wall every time. 

They got into the studio and played some songs and six years – ten years – came full circle. He was worried he was too late, that he was chasing something in the past, but Jamia pulled him up short by scolding him for always assuming he was cursed, that heartbreak followed him. 

He understood he was keeping what he really wanted at bay because he was scared. Gerard had floated the idea a while ago, but it had never been more than that. Frank feels stupid bringing it up now, like he’s years behind the conversation. 

Because what if they were too old. What if it was too late? What if – what if it was in the past? But time only made things clearer. 

The silence waits between them. Frank came here to do this and he's not gonna be a coward, not about this. “What about now? Do you think it's something you could do now?” He's being vague and that's not what he means to do. “Start a new relationship?” 

“We're always growing and changing,” Gerard says easily. “We're always doing something new.” Gerard leans closer. “Are you changing?” 

“Yeah, I'm a werewolf, surprise!” 

But Gerard doesn't take his bait. “Is that why you flew all the way out here? You wanted to talk in person. Of course you did,” Gerard says, mostly to himself. “You hate the phone.” 

“Video calls are ok.” 

“You don't think they're the same.” Gerard says, matter-of-factly, and sometimes Frank forgets that Gerard knows him so well. 

“No, I don't.” 

“You think that maybe it's our time?” It sounds romantic when Gee says it, like a stupid dream. 

“Rehearsal's one thing, but going on tour – I just – it's so intense and I mean I've been on tour a couple times since the accident, but every time – the bus fumes just make me -” Frank trails off. It makes him so many mixed-up things, cold and sweaty, guilty and furious, outside of his body and yet never more aware of it. 

“You’ll have your friends there,” Gerard soothes. “We'll all be there for you.” 

“I need -” Frank swallows hard. “I need you to be more than a friend” 

“Frankie,” Gerard reaches for him and then hesitates, so Frank grabs his hand and presses it to the side of his face. Gerard’s fingers slip across his cheek to the curve of his jaw. 

“I'm not saying I've got my eye on the reaper or anything, but it's just -I don't want to go on tour again feeling everything I feel with you, being with you, making music with you and not – not have the rest of it.” 

“The rest of it?” Gerard prompts gently. 

“Not let myself love you.” 

Gerard's eyes close for a moment and he sways, tipping closer to Frank. 

“I’ve been flirting with you a long time, Frankie,” Gerard says, voice low. “I didn’t know we’d ever get here. And I mean we didn’t have to, I never expected -” 

“I know. I get it. I always thought there would be time later you know, or I’d finally figure out what I wanted and....and what I was allowed to have.” 

“I love you, you know that. But I know the difference. And I think I can be something more for you. If that’s what you’re asking.” 

Frank nods. Struggles to get the words out. “It is.” 

Gerard kisses him, gently, a promise. Frank grabs his hair and tugs and Gerard yelps, laughing and shoving Frank away, before pulling him close again, biting his bottom lip. 

“This is too wild, right?” Frank says, between kisses. “We're fucking grown adults. We're dads.” 

“We're a lot of wild things,” Gerard says. 

They spill out of the chairs, on the ground. The patio stones are cold against Frank’s knees. Frank grabs Gerard for a too-tight hug, tense and nervous and hopeful. Gerard hugs him back and hangs on for as long as Frank needs. 

“Ok,” Gerard murmurs, “That was a lot for tonight. How about you kiss me some more and we can make sure we're exactly on the same page about expectations tomorrow after some fucking waffles.” 

Frank can do that. He kisses Gerard, drawing him down, letting Gerard's arms bracket his head, Gerard up on his elbows, hair tickling Frank's forehead. Gerard’s mouth is sure and steady and Frank slips into the moment where everything else but Gerard close to him fades away. He revels in the way Gerard makes him feel, kissing him deep and dirty, his cold hand sneaking up under Frank’s t-shirt, skating along his back. Frank shudders and arches away from the touch, swearing, but it brings him flush against Gerard. Gerard smirks and bites the scorpion on Frank’s neck, the words at the hollow of his throat. Maybe they could have this. Being grown-ups. Speaking love into something new.


End file.
